I feel like a tease, leading everyone on.

At this morning’s OB visit (can I tell you how discombobulating it is to go on a Tuesday, after going on Wednesdays for the past eight months?), I got a reprieve. My stress has been building for the past couple of days, not sure if I should go with the induction or delay a little longer, wishing that I’d just go into labor on my own. Last night, I put the sheets on Bean’s cosleeper, thinking that if I showed we were really ready, s/he would push into the world. I was so disappointed to wake up in the night and find that my only sensation was needing to urinate, and not that of labor. (As my mother pointed out, the benefit of this whole experience is that I’m actually looking forward to labor.)

So, this morning, the doctor sensed my hesitation and said we can wait a little longer. Thursday, we have an appointment for fetal monitoring. Friday, I’m to show up at the hospital at 6:00 am for induction, if we don’t go into labor on our own before then. I’m down with that. The good thing is that, even though I was hesitant, right before we went into the examining room, I reached a decision – that I was okay with induction tomorrow. My rationale? While the next 24 hours would be stressful, convincing the doctor to delay longer would involve a different stress, one that would last longer, and I figured the stress is not good for Bean. So I opted for shorter stress. But since the suggestion came from the doctor, and I’d already reconciled myself to the idea of induction, a delay of a few days is good.

So, really, Friday is it, at the latest.


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